Today was my first Mother’s Day. It was a beautiful day. My husband bought me many wonderful presents, made me a delicious breakfast, and spent the day with me running errands. I played on the floor with my son and hugged him tight. My boy is what made me Mom and gave me this day to celebrate. I have never been more appreciative and proud of an accomplishment in my life.
This day really got me thinking about the past almost ten months since I brought him into this world. I remember signing his birth certificate paperwork and filling out the information under “Mother”. It was the first time I had been given that official title and nothing else has ever felt so foreign to me. What did that word even mean? What kind of mother would I be? Would I raise my son to be a great man? Would I still be me?
A thousand thoughts flooded my brain. I wasn’t sure I was ready to take on this job, the hardest of jobs. And then I looked down at the little bundle of blankets and baby in my arms. My little boy looked up at me and wrapped his little fingers around mine. And I was gone. No matter how difficult, I was never more right for a role. It’s like I was born to be a Mom and I was going to do everything I could to give my son the best life possible.
Looking back on the months that followed, I am amazed at how much my life has changed and how far I have come as a mother. I remember the absolute haze of those first few months. I remember the long nights and even longer days. I remember the constant doubt and insecurity I had as a mother. But, I also remember the first time my baby smiled. I remember his little giggles and the peaceful hours we’d spend together in the middle of the night – the hours where it felt like we were the only two in the world awake. I remember the good and the bad. Though, if I’m being honest, in those first few months, it felt like the bad outweighed the good. I doubted whether I would be able to do this.
Then, the fog lifted. The sun started to shine. My son and I got into a rhythm of our own. We established a pattern to our days and he started to grow. We ventured out into the world and we visited family. I realized I wasn’t alone in this. I watched my husband thrive as a new father. I reveled in their laughter and the games they developed together. I stared in awe at the smiling face of my little one where I only saw his father. We started to become a family, a little unit of three taking on this new chapter of our lives one step at a time together.
More recently, I have gone back to work, resumed my classes, and started to feel like myself again. I’ve experienced a little of the Me I was before I became Mom. I believe this has made me an even better mother. It has shown me that I can be Me and Mom. It has shown me that the two go hand in hand. But, going back to work and school has also shown me that to be the kind of mother I want to be, that I have to prioritize what is important to me. It has shown me how easy it can be to get busy and to let the little moments get away. So I spend my nights on the floor playing with blocks, running around the house chasing my little boy, and sitting in his room reading books. I no longer spend my days with him so I make sure my nights are full of laughter, love, and memories.
I cherish the day I became Mom. I cherish all the days and nights that have followed. I cherish every good moment, bad moment, and all the moments in between. I cherish the memories made, the laughter shared, and the love we have for one another. I cherish the last ten months and the many, many years to come. I cherish it all.
And today, we celebrate the trials and tribulations of motherhood. We honor the many women who have taken on this most difficult of jobs. We love the mothers who have made us into great men and women. And most of all, I admire the mommas who have shown me how to best raise my own.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!